How to talk for the first time with the girl you like

Maybe you’ve seen a girl you like around there and you’ve dreamed about talking to her. Definitely the first time you do it can be a little stressful, but once you dare, you will open the possibility that you like it too! Start by looking at your body language to know when to approach it. Then, use a question or affirmation to open the conversation.

Part 1: Break the ice

One Make a comment about something they have in common, to arouse their interest. Believe it or not, you have something in common with every person you know! You just need to take a look and discover what it is. Find something you can use to start a conversation. It does not have to be something important.

  • For example, if you’re at school, you can say, “That test has been difficult, right?”
  • If you’re in a coffee shop, you can say, “It’s really cold outside!” Or “This music is interesting, do not you think?” You can also try, “There’s nothing like a cup of hot coffee on a cold day, true?”

Two Ask him something to make him like you. No, do not go and ask for $ 100. Better, ask him a little favor. It will seem strange, but when you ask people for a favor, they will want to help you. In fact, it tends to make you like them more.

  • Use something simple, like “Could you pass me the salt?” or “Would you mind bringing me that jug of cream?”

Say something just to start the conversation. The longer you wait to say something, the more likely it is that you will not do it. You do not necessarily have to say something bright! You just need to start the conversation. Even a simple “Hello!” will serve.

  • You can also try to say something fun, like “I need help, I can not decide, it’s killing me, should I buy the cookie with chocolate chips or brownie?”

Take a deep breath to calm down if you feel a little anxiety. It’s natural to feel butterflies before going to talk to someone you like! If you feel nervous, try to breathe deeply. Close your eyes and put air through your nose counting up to 4. Hold your breath for 4 times and then draw out the air while you count up to 4. Be sure to breathe deeply from the abdomen area. Do this breathing exercise a few times to help calm your nerves.

Tip: You can also take a few minutes to cheer up. Think you can do it! Also, put it in perspective. What is the worst that can happen? If she does not want to talk to you, it will hurt her, but it will not be the end of the world.

Continue the conversation by responding to what I say. You will need to alternate when you talk to the girl you like! If she says something in response to what you have said or asks you for a favor, answer her. Try to make the topics happy and fun, since it is their first meeting.

  • For example, if she says, “Yes, coffee is the best! It warms me from the inside! “, You can say,” I know! What’s your favorite type of coffee? “

Keep the security to show that you are interested. When you talk to a chicha for the first time, you are likely to start questioning or interpreting negatively the things she says to you. If you can, try to combat these thoughts. Keep smiling and asking questions. Stand in an upright posture and speak with a clear voice.

Tip: Most people think that showing security is attractive. Even if you do not feel safe, in most cases pretending is enough. In addition, pretending using body language will make you feel more secure!

Part 2: Detect body language signals

One Smile and see if the smile returns. A smile is a good sign that I may want to talk to you. Showing a smile will indicate that you are happy to see her. If she smiles back at you, you probably want to approach her.

  • Look her in the eye to see if her smile looks real. If a smile is genuine, it will reach your eyes and you will know it. If you’re just being friendly and smiling at you, the smile will look a bit fake.
  • Check if the smile raises your cheeks and wrinkles your eyes, this is a sign that it is genuine.

Two See if your gaze holds you for a moment. Do not try to stare at her! However, if you catch her gaze, hold her for a few seconds while you smile at her. If she also holds her gaze, it is probably a sign that you are interested.

Look for other signs of positive body language. Positive body language indicates that she may be open to talking with you. You may notice that she points her body toward you or uncrosses her arms or legs. You can play with your hair or be restless with your clothes.

Note: On the other hand, if you observe negative body language, you may want to wait to get closer to it. Signs of negative body language include crossing the limbs, moving away from you, frowning, acquiring a rigid posture or looking the other way.

Wait another chance, if it seems she had a bad day. If you are upset or look sad, wait another day. Even if you try to approach her because you like her, she probably does not have the courage to respond when she’s in a bad mood.

  • Similarly, if it seems that she is working hard on something, it is not the best time for you to approach.

Part 3: Advance with the conversation

One Listen to what she has to say. Any conversation is about giving and receiving. Make sure you focus on what the person says so you can respond. If you do not listen to it, the conversation will end quickly!

  • Nobody likes to listen to someone who spends talking about himself for 30 minutes. Encourage her to tell you about her!

Two Use open questions to continue the conversation. An open question is one that will give you an answer beyond “yes” or “no”. This will allow me to talk to you about her, which she will probably be happy to do as long as she is not too shy.

  • For example, instead of asking, “Do you like rock?” you can ask, “What is your favorite type of music?”
  • If she gives you a short answer, ask a follow-up question, such as “Who is your favorite pop singer?”

Talk a little about yourself If he asks you questions, answer honestly. Even if you do not want to talk nonstop about yourself, the conversation must go from one place to another. If you are not willing to talk about yourself at all, she may think something is wrong with you.

End the conversation in a positive way. If everything went well, try to fix something for another time. For example, you can ask for her number so you can send her messages or call her, or you can ask for her social network accounts so you can contact her that way.

Tip: You can also open the possibility of leaving on another occasion. For example, you can say, “Hey, would you like to go out for a coffee one day?”

Leave her alone if she does not want to talk. Even if you can feel sad or depressed if a chicha does not want to talk to you, you must respect what she wants. If you do not want to have a conversation or do not want to go out with you, say “Anyway, thanks!” and get away.

  • It can be painful, but do not take it personally. You do not know what goes through your head at that moment. You are probably too worried about a qualification to think about dating someone.


  • If you feel anxiety at the beginning, talk to her near other people until you feel comfortable talking to her alone. Trust yourself!
  • If you really like that girl, first try to have a friendship with her.


  • Remember that each girl is different, there is not a group of questions that work for any girl! Just be you and hope that you like her too.