How to start a conversation with a girl

Starting a conversation with a girl you do not know can be intimidating. Fortunately, there are some tricks you can use to start conversations with the girls you just met.

Method1: Flirt during the conversation

One Make compliments. Do it in a genuine and kind way. Tell him he has a beautiful smile, that you like his necklace or that his laugh is contagious. Make her feel special. Try not to overwhelm her with more transcendental praise, since you will sound little sincere.

Try saying, “You have a big smile, it’s very contagious.”

You can also say: “That’s a nice dress, red looks great”.

Two Try a phrase to flirt. A good phrase to flirt will make a girl laugh and it will definitely get her attention. Avoid anything that sounds too corny or scary. The key to a working phrase is trust, so do not be shy!

For something romantic, try: “Hi, I’m Andrew, I thought we should have at least one conversation before we get married.”

For something eye-catching, try with: “I can not think of anyone else with whom I’d rather survive the zombie apocalypse.”

For a compliment, try: “My friends bet me that I would not be able to talk to the prettiest girl in the bar. Do you want to buy drinks with your money?” 

Focus on non-verbal cues. You can use nonverbal cues, such as body language or facial expressions, to turn a comment that would not otherwise be flirtatious into something with a romantic background.

Maintain an open and attractive body language. Keep good eye contact and smile, smile and smile!

Gently touch your hand or arm when telling a story, this will help you create intimacy and take you out of the friendship zone.

Avoid using negative body language such as crossing your arms, frowning or looking down.

Method2:  Chat with someone you do not know

One Get closer to her Get close to the girl you want to start a conversation with, smile and say hello. Tell him your name and ask for hers. Do not complicate it. A genuine and cordial greeting will always be better than a corny phrase.

In any situation, use a direct introduction. For example: “Hello, my name is Bob, what’s your name?”

In a bar, you can offer the girl a drink. For example: “Hello, my name is José, can I buy you a drink?”

Two Ask him how he is. Ask a girl kindly how she has done in the day or how she feels is a good way to make her talk. It also makes a good impression, since it shows that you are really interested in it and are willing to listen to it.

A simple “How do things go today?” it never fails. Make sure you hear his answer, it’s not a rhetorical question!

Ask him: “How did you do today? Did you do something fun?” This will encourage you to give more than one word response and it will give you the opportunity to show off your incredible listening skills.

Make a comment about the weather. You can not fail with a harmless observation about the weather, or some other objective issue. Make a comment about how sunny, windy or rainy it is. This will give you a safe topic with which to break the ice. Once she has responded, you can move on to more interesting topics.

Turn it into a question, rather than an affirmation. Say something like “Nice day today, right?” or “It seems that this rain will calm down soon, do not you think?” This will give you the opportunity to respond.

If you do not like the climate approach, try another safe topic. For example, you can try to comment on your surroundings. In a bar, you could say something like: “Wow, there’s a lot of people here tonight, do not you think?”

Ask a question about work or studies. Finding common ground can help you break the ice in a conversation. Ask reflective questions about work or studies so that the conversation flows.

If you attend a class together, ask what you think of it, if you like the teacher or if you are interested in whatever you are studying at that time. Say something like: “Have you seen the essay topics for the next semester? Do you know what topic you are going to write about?”

If they work together, ask them if they are working on an interesting project at the moment.

Mentions themes of popular culture. Making reference to popular culture is an intelligent and non-personal way of talking about personal interests. When you discover what kind of movies or music a girl likes, you can get an idea of ​​the type of person she is and what her interests are. This valuable information could help you plan a great appointment in the future.

For TV shows, ask something like: “See Mad Men? Who is your favorite character?”

For music, ask: “Have you heard the new Daft Punk album? What did you think?”

For the films, “Have you seen the latest Tarantino movie? I’ve been told it’s fantastic.”

Mention an upcoming event. Mentioning an upcoming event, such as a music festival or an exam, can give you something to get excited about or get nervous about. This will create a relationship between the two of you and allow the girl to see how much they have in common.

If you’re both taking the same test, you might say something like, “I’m afraid of next week’s math test, I’m not good at algebra, how do you feel about that?”

If you have a conversation about music, you can mention the next festival. Say something like, “Are you going to Coachella this year? I went with a group of friends last year, we had a lot of fun! What bands would you like to see?”

If a holiday is approaching, you might say something like, “I can not wait for Halloween next week, my friend is going to have a party at home and I have a great werewolf costume planned, will you do something fun?”

Method3: Talk with a friend

one Mentions a friend in common. Talking about a mutual friend in your conversation will help you establish a personal connection with the girl, even if you do not know her well. She will feel more at ease, since you will not seem like a complete stranger. Having a friend in common will also give you something (or someone) to talk about.

Try saying something like, “I heard you’re a good friend of Allison, how did you two meet?”

Or something like: “Oh, so you know Daniel? We’ve known each other for a long time! It’s very funny, do not you think?”

two Brings out a shared experience. Having a shared experience, whether working as a volunteer or growing on a farm, will help create a personal connection between the two of you and establish the beginning of a bond.

If you realize that both grew up on a farm, you could say something like: “It can not be, me too! The worst part was early morning, my dad would get me up at 5 am every day during the summer to help him. How was it for you? “

If both of you have worked on volunteer projects, you could say something like: “I think it was a very rewarding experience, what inspired you to get involved?”

Ask an interesting question Making an unusual or thought-provoking question will break the ice and allow the girl to say what she thinks. This will give you the opportunity to express yourself and you will leave a good impression by asking such an interesting question. Everyone wins!

Try something like, “If you could be an animal, what kind of animal would you be?”

Or something like: “What are the five best places you want to visit before dying?”.

Or maybe: “Have you ever thought about doing a parachute jump?”

Mention a shared interest. Discovering that they have a shared interest is conversational gold and it will really help you to start establishing a link with it. No matter what the interest (reading, running, climbing, etc.), what matters is that it is something they share.

If you find that you both like to run, you could ask what your favorite local routes are or if you have ever thought about training for a marathon.

If you both like to read, you might ask her who her favorite author is or what she thinks of a recent film adaptation of a well-known novel.

If it is something very peculiar, ask him how he got involved for the first time and compare their stories.

Ask him a personal question. If things are going well and you two seem to be congenial, it could be time to be a little more personal. Remember that the goal is to show that you are really interested in her and want to know her better, not make her feel uncomfortable. Do not ask anything that you do not feel comfortable answering yourself.

Make it something positive! Do not ask her what is her biggest fear or her biggest secret, ask her about her hopes for the future or where she sees herself in ten years. Let her decide if she wants to respond seriously or keep things lightly.

Ask him about his family, starting with something simple and non-invasive like: “Do you have siblings?”

If you want to know if she is single, just ask her: “Are you dating someone for the time being?”

Method4:  Improve overall behavior

one Project confidence. The key to all flirting is trust. What women really want is a man who feels comfortable in his own skin, a man who is happy, capable and confident.

Update your wardrobe. When you feel good about your appearance, you will naturally project confidence, so get rid of the baggy jeans and invest in some good quality, well-fitting pieces to help you look and feel like a 007.

Speak with clarity and confidence. This does not mean talking more than the others or interrupting them constantly, but try to talk a little louder than you normally would. Avoid qualifying phrases with too many “totally” and “you know?” 

Two Listen well. Try not to dominate the conversation. Ask lots of questions and listen carefully to their answers. Listening will show that you are interested in her and what she has to say.

Stay involved in the conversation. Open up a little, give the girl more and more reasons to like her. Answer your questions and let me know you a little, but do not do it again and again, the goal is to involve and intrigue, not bore.

Make eye contact. Maintaining good eye contact will make you look more reliable and attractive. Looking someone in the eye is a natural thing when you feel comfortable and safe. Be sure to look directly at her whenever either of you is talking, but remember to look away during the pauses in the conversation, to stare at her is creepy!

Smile. Smiling will make you look happy, approachable and more attractive. That’s the kind of man girls want to have around, so it shows those white teeth.

Avoid the “yes” or “no” questions. The questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” are not the best way to start a conversation. Closed questions are not effective in getting the girl really involved in the conversation. Try to ask more interesting and open questions that require long and thoughtful answers. Closed questions should only be used at the beginning of the conversation to put a minimum amount of pressure on it. Starting conversations with strangers is an already uncomfortable experience and making it more uncomfortable for her by pressing it with an open question can be counterproductive. So you can start with open questions like “Is this the first time you come here?” or “How are you?” so that they are more comfortable with the situation before continuing with the more open questions.

Avoid controversial issues. Bringing controversial issues to the conversation can make you feel uncomfortable, restless or just angry. Avoid seeking your views on issues such as politics or religion during the first conversation or your relationship will run the risk of ending before it has even begun. 


Show yourself interested, but not too anxious. If someone else is competing for your attention, be prepared to walk away so as not to look desperate. Most girls love challenges, so your willingness to get away from the conversation can make them even more interested in you.

If you seem to be interested in you, do not hesitate to ask for your number. The next day, send her a text message saying that you liked talking to her.

Send her a text message within the first two hours saying, “Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you today, would you like to stay at another time?” In this way, she will know that you are “interested” in her.

Comment on something that both are doing. If you travel together on the bus, tell the driver about it or make a joke about the traffic. If you both wait for coffee, joke about how long you are taking the line or ask what you are going to drink.

If you know her enough, try to invite her out without being rude.

Try to keep things light. Do not share your deepest secrets immediately, just have fun and be yourself.

Do not be afraid of a possible rejection. If a girl you like does not feel the same, your relationship with her does not have to become uncomfortable. The rejection will be as uncomfortable as you allow it to be.


In some cases, the girl will not want to answer your questions or talk to you. Tell him something polite and keep on yours.

Do not trust yourself much even if you see her alone, it is very likely that her boyfriend is around; much more if he is jealous. In that case it is best to stay away from it and avoid unnecessary confrontations.